Never Have That
by phoebe9509
Summary: Emily sees what Hotch has and envies him.


"Can we paint?"

Emily looked up from the puzzle they were working on at his small table in his room. "Do you have paint?" Jack nodded excitedly and Emily couldn't help but smile. "Yeah we can paint honey."

The duo set up all the supplies and Emily put an old shirt on Jack so no paint would get on his clothes. Together they started painting. Emily was so engrossed in her painting that she jumped when Jack ran his paintbrush across her cheek.

Gasping loudly for added effect Emily turned her gaze towards Jack. "Excuse me young man did you just paint me?"

All Jack could do was giggle.

"I repeat," Emily scooted closer, "did you just paint my face?" After Jack continued to giggle Emily ran her paintbrush down the little boys arm. He squealed in delight then mimicked the same action to Emily.

"You did it again," she shouted playfully. Before she could do anything Jack painted her other cheek with his brush bright green.

"You look like Christmas Emmy," he snorted.

"Well whose fault is that?" she asked as she put her hands on her hips.

"It was me," Jack sang happily. The two turned around at the sound of a throat being cleared to see Hotch staring down at them.

"Daddy!" Jack yelled as he ran up and jumped into Hotch's open arms. "I missed you so much."

Emily stood up completely forgetting about the paint. "Did you and Miss Emily have fun Jack?"

"We did. We painted pictures!" he explained with excitement in his voice.

"I see that. You know you're supposed to paint on paper and not on her face." Hotch watched as Emily's eyes widened as she remembered the paint and tried to quickly wipe it off. "Don't worry Prentiss. It's a good look for you," he smirked.

Glaring at her boss, Emily watched as a real smile graced Hotch's face. It didn't happened often so she let her comeback go and smiled back.

Jack tightened his grip around his fathers neck as he hugged him and explained all the cool things he did with Miss Emily today.

"How about you go clean up so we can get ready for bed?" Hotch suggested as he put his son back on the ground.

"Kiss," Jack stated and Emily watched as Hotch bent back down to place a kiss on his sons forehead.  
"Say bye to Miss Emily."

Jack ran up to Emily's leg and hugged them tightly before kissing a thigh. "Thanks for the fun today. You can watch me anytime," he told her as he went to wash the paint off his arm leaving the two agents alone together.

Emily watched Jack go and tears started to pool in her eyes. She tried her best to avoid Hotch's gaze but knew it was inevitable. Seeing her eyes glistening Hotch took a step closer.

"What's wrong?" he asked in complete seriousness.

"Nothing."

Arching an eyebrow towards her he folded his arms across his chest. "Emily."

"It's stupid," Emily mumbled.

"It's upsetting you Prentiss, that's not stupid."

Emily sighed then took a deep breath. "I'm never going to have that." Hotch tilted his head to the side not understanding what she meant. "I'm never going to have someone love me like that. I'm never going to have someone's eyes light up just because I walked into the room." A sob escaped her throat. "I'm never going to have a mini-me."

Hotch wanted to pull her into a hug but he restrained himself. He watched as she stepped away from him and headed for the door. His brain fought with his heart, but he knew he couldn't let her walk away feeling the way she was, like no one wanted her. So he decided to do the only thing he could think of.

"I feel something," Hotch whispered.

Emily halted her actions and turned slowly to face him. "What?" she asked quietly as she arched an eyebrow.

"I have feelings for you. I have to fight a smile every time I see you walk into a room," he admitted. "But nothing can happen so I try not to think about it. I put it out of my mind."

Hotch watched as she digested what he said, and his heart dropped as he watched her bottom lip quiver and she hastily said "I have to leave" and went for the knob again.

"Emily! What did I say?" Hotch asked with worry in his voice.

Emily twirled around quickly. "The one guy that I have feelings for, the one I can't stop thinking about. The one who has a recurring role in my dreams just told me that he feels something for me as well but nothing can happen. What do you _think_ is wrong with me?" she barked as she flung the door open and rushed out.

She made it halfway down the hall before Hotch called her name. She continued on her travels to the elevator, desperate to get away from him.

"EMILY!" Hotch yelled.

"What?" she screamed as she turned to face him to be pushed against the wall from the force of his lips colliding with hers. Emily gasped and Hotch pushed his tongue inside her open mouth. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her closer while hers gripped his face.

Hotch pulled away reluctantly just to have a hand slap him across the face hard. Placing his hand on the stinging spot he gaped at her. "What was that for?" he asked quickly.

"Lying to me!' she growled. "I never thought you could be cruel Hotch."

"What do you mean?" Hotch wondered still baffled.

"You don't care about me, you only kissed me because you thought that would make me feel better—"

"That's not true."

"If you liked me like you said, you wouldn't have kissed me, because nothing can happen between us, and you wouldn't want to hurt me more than I already am. So in conclusion, your confession and your kiss is complete bullshit." Emily turned to the elevator and jabbed the button begging silently for it to hurry up before her tears started falling.

"Your conclusion is wrong Emily! I wish things were different because I could see myself growing old with you, but this job makes it hard to, but I'd never want to hurt you. But my confession of how I feel about you and that kiss is not bullshit. I want you Emily. You have to have felt that in my kiss. Nothing you say can make me feel differently about you."

Elevator doors finally open and she quickly steps in and hits lobby. "Just…leave me alone Hotch," she tried softly.

"I'm sorry," Hotch started.

"Good night," she said as the doors were shutting and the last thing Emily heard before the cart started taking her down and her tears made an escape was,

"Nothing you say can or will change how I feel about you Emily Prentiss."


End file.
